Yesterday on my Real [Fit] Life blog I talked about the physical slump I have been struggling through as I face some health problems that seem to be chronic in nature and have finally demanded that I deal with them. I will spare you some of the pleasant details for now, but eventually, when I am better, (“and I will be, damn it” <that was spoken as a positive affirmation) I would like to talk about what I went through. If it can help a few more people get on the road to recovery that much faster, it’s worth the personal unveiling.
I did visit a homeopathic specialist in Rhinebeck today and much of what she found, and the advice and medicine she prescribed makes a whole lot of sense to me. In addition, I have been advised by another specialist, to have a colonoscopy, and I will.
I have never been really sick before. I mean, I can't even tell you the last time I had a common cold. I did once have a kidney stone but that’s my history pretty much. I eat really well, I exercise, I try as best as I can to manage my stress.
The most important lesson I am learning through all of this, is sometimes it is necessary to strip your life down to the absolute necessities, and keep telling yourself (and believing ) that it is okay.
Sleep has been my therapy many days and while in the beginning I felt guilty, inadequate, or even weak for having to let the theoretical ball drop in many areas of my life, in hindsight, I have also begun to truly see the value in it.
Sometimes it is necessary to retreat form the world in a sense, to self-nurture, to nourish, to heal, to be fragile, and accepting of the moment.
I have developed a new found appreciation and admiration for those with chronic illness who might find it a struggle to get out of bed in the morning and just see the day through.
Our society can be quick to judge people as lazy, inept, sluggish, or overly dramatic.
If you were to see me out on the street, or run into me getting a cup of coffee, you would never see with the naked eye the ordeals that I have been carefully treading.
You would see a woman perfectly put together, not a hair out of place, and dressed with style. You would see a bright smile, a welcoming gesture, and a seemingly well pulled together, crisp demeanor. (“Clearly, J-trim has no self-esteem issues…perfectly healthy THERE!”)
What you don’t see, and only those close to me have, is the frazzled, exhausted, scared and teary eyed person on the inside who is just trying to hold it all together and get well.
Today has been a really good day for me. I feel more rational, more in control, like some of the puzzle pieces of my ailments are starting to come together and make sense. The difference is now I am also starting to expect the dips, the walls that suddenly come crashing down without a moment’s notice. Some might see that as a pessimistic, self-defeatist kind of attitude.
I call it self-acceptance, self-nurturing, love, and being prepared.
I also now call it “time for a nap.”
With gratitude, love, and much appreciation,
To read more from Jeannine, visit her blog Real [Fit] Life here!