You Might be the Parent of a Toddler IF...

  • You will stop yourself mid-conversation to point out airplanes, fire trucks or trains passing by
  • You have recently explained the importance of having to wear pants in public
  • You step over approximately 400 bath toys to get into the shower
  • You are prepared with some sort of travel snack and/or drink at all times whenever you leave the house
  • You have heard the word "no" about 5,896 times today so far


  • You have abandoned a shopping cart with items in it at Target to avoid a child's meltdown
  • Your Christmas tree only has ornaments on the top half
  • You have company on the majority of your trips to the bathroom, oftentimes even inviting them in yourself to show them how it's done
  • You have worn an Elmo band aid because you don't have any non-character band aids in the house


  • At least one of the walls in your house has been decorated against your will with either crayons, markers or stickers or a combination of the three
  • When you hear the words "Uh oh" coming from your child in the next room you immediately wonder what they broke
  • You have found keys, stuffed animals, or toy trucks, etc. in your toilet
  • You have at least one crayon and/or a tiny pair of undies in your purse right now
  • You have purchased books about how awesome it is to use the potty


  • You have considered feeding sandwiches directly to the dog yourself just to save time
  • Crushed goldfish crackers have become part of your house, your car, your purse and just your general being
  • You snack on half eaten sandwiches, half eaten string cheese, half eaten bananas and the above mentioned ubiquitous goldfish crackers
  • You have considered doing bodily harm to the UPS guy who woke your sleeping beauty from their nap
  • When you do go out to eat you find yourself pushing all the water glasses and silverware into the middle of the table out of reach, even if there are no kids present