Once in a while, when I am in a particularly gung ho mood, I will attempt to "clean out" my current bag. This usually happens after I have found myself at a checkout fishing around in the murky depths of a purse looking for a debit card only to come up with receipts, crushed cheddar bunnies, lollipop wrappers, toy keys, broken crayon fragments, and more receipts. So, I'll flip it over and examine it's contents, usually coming up with a long lost Lego minifig ("Hey, my Batman! That's where it was!" will be the response from my 8 year old, holding me responsible for "losing it" in the first place), some diapers that the baby no longer fits in, single baby socks, underwear for my potty trained but not accident-less toddler, lip balms I forgot I bought, roughly a thousand hair ties, and hopefully, my wallet.
I will then proceed to smooth out and remove the cheddar bunny dust from all of the contents, put the toys away back in their rightful place (i.e. not my bag), I'll put a brand spanking new pack of baby wipes in there along with the right sized diapers (thank you very much), maybe just one emergency toy, and will dutifully recycle all of the receipts.
For about two days (three, tops) I will feel calm, cool, and collected as I smugly do NOT need to fish around my purse blindly at the checkout because my wallet is RIGHT HERE and NOT covered in a mysterious stickiness that I don't want to think about. I will feel like I have reclaimed at least a small part of my sanity and might actually put that somewhat splurge-y lip balm from Sephora into my purse believing that it will stay there, with the cap on it, for a while.
Day four, however, the cheddar bunnnies will creep in and quickly set up camp. The receipts will seemingly multiply overnight (especially after I stop by CVS for gummy vitamins), and I will once again feel the sting of embarrassment as a pair of Thomas the Tank Engine undies and a breast pad (stuck to said undies) fall out of my purse while I am paying for gas.
As I retrieve the clean pair of tiny undies though (fingers crossed they are clean) I will remind myself that this is part of the beauty of motherhood. And one day when they are in college I will look into my purse and find it empty for lack of lollipop wrappers and Mater toys. At least then it will be easier to find my phone to text them a reminder to call their mother once in a while.