Last night, I, like many other parents before me and future parents will, put my baby down with the hopes that maybe, just maybe, tonight will be the night she sleeps through the night. Yes, that ever elusive golden ring of parenting a baby, the sleeping through the night, has eluded us for a year now.
But you never know. Tonight COULD be the night. Was it the night last night? No, it was not. And as I lay there listening to the cries of protest from the crib, I envisioned exactly what was going on in the little sweet mind of my one year old.
SCENE: Nighttime in the crib. Lights are low, sound machine is on filling the room with gentle ocean sounds. Lovey is in crib, baby is fed and full and clean and comfortable and ready for bed. All systems go. No foreseeable reasons why she should not be falling asleep ASAP...
Ok I'm tired Falling asleep now Oh wait just kidding no no I don't want to WAAAAAAAA Okay now I'm totally awake again And tired More tired than before OMG NOW I'M SO TIRED! Too tired to even fall asleep!
So you wait, will they or won't they?! Yes, they are falling asleep, the crying seems to have stopped NO WAIT WRONG CRYING AGAIN. Time slows and seems to actually stand still in moments like these. You think the baby has for sure been crying for a full hour when it has actually been eleven minutes. You veer from "Oh my poor baby" to "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST GO TO SLEEP". You google frantically on your phone "Best baby sound machine", "Baby sleep book", "What to do when baby won't go to sleep", "How Long Can You Be Sleep Deprived Before You Go Insane". You read review after review on Amazon for nightlights and loveys and pacis and OMG WHY WON'T SHE JUST SLEEP.
Then she falls asleep. And you fall asleep. And all is right in the world.
Until you wake up at 2am. And she's still asleep. But you just have to check on her because this is the first time she's sleeping through the night and you just HAVE to make sure everything is alright because this is unprecedented and what if something is actually wrong?!
And as you gaze lovingly at your sleeping angel...you wake her up.
And you start all over again.
My tip? Get a coffee maker you can set a timer for. And hang in there. xoxo