We all have that one thing that we just do not want to do as parents. No, I'm not talking about the gross stuff like cleaning up puke, cause nobody actually wants to do that. I'm talking more about the classic children's pasttime type stuff that you thought you'd want to do but, turns out? You hate doing and will avoid at all costs. What's mine? PUMPKINS. The truth? I hate them.
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't hate pumpkins in general. I mean, I probably have at least 10 cute decorated pumpkins (fake ones) around my house at this very moment. And pumpkin flavored anything? I am SO ON BOARD with that. No, what I hate is carving pumpkins, and then having to then throw out/somehow dispose of the rotting disgusting composting pumpkin that is now on my front porch. Not for me. That's gonna be a hard pass.
Why? Well, first of all, have you ever gotten a kid like SUPER excited to carve a pumpkin only to get it home and realize that you have to do 99.999999% of the work, which is fine, I guess, only they beg you the entire time to let THEM use the huge giant knife to cut tiny triangles out of the slimy vegetable?
Also, I kind of suck at doing it anyway. My kids will see a pumpkin at the store all cute and carved into like a Halloween CASTLE or something ridiculous and will want me to recreate it, like "Mommy how do they carve it like that?" and I'm like honestly? I have no idea, because we will be lucky if I can carve two eyes and a mouth successfully. Even the pumpkin face designs that I want to look cute and fun turn out scary looking because I am just so bad at carving one. But really, where does one even acquire this skill anyway? Is pumpkin carving something you are born with? I must not come from a long line of pumpkin carvers because I break a sweat if I have to carve so much as a circle.
Maybe you pick up one of those handy dandy "kits" that supposedly make pumpkin carving "fun and easy". LIES. ALL LIES. Those things do not work. They will either a) break, b) not work, or c) both. And then you're back to the giant knife scenario. In the past though I usually cave and agree to help carve one or two, which will then sit on our front porch collecting spiders and leaves and then slowly rots until someone accidentally kicks it over on the rush to the school bus JUST SO MUCH NO INVOLVED HERE.
The thing is, because I'm a mother and I'm also an American mother I feel somehow conditioned to feel guilty if I don't enjoy/want to do all the things they want to do. The thing is, I'm kinda over that. So no, children of mine, I do not want to scoop disgusting cold pumpkin strings out with my bare hands and pretend like ANYONE wants to actually roast and eat the seeds because no. No thank you and not gonna happen, aka, ask your dad. But hit me up when there's pumpkin pie, that I'm down for.