At the risk of sounding like a hypocrite (quite frankly it's a risk I take pretty often now), I'm gonna turn on you guys here, and I have to say, enough with talking about how tired we are. Enough already.
The other day I was scrolling through facebook and saw not one, not two, but three t-shirts that featured sayings about being tired. One was about being tired as a mother, one was about drinking caffeine until cocktail hour, and one was just about being tired. Do we really want to wear t-shirts that talk about being tired? I mean, isn't that the tiniest bit...strange?
Except, it's not, because talking about being tired seems to be the only thing MORE popular than actually being tired. When's the last time you or someone you know said "I'm so tired"? I'm not talking about children, I'm talking about grown adults who mention their level of tiredness sometimes on a daily basis. I'm not trying to be ultra-judgmental here, because I've done it too. I've even engaged in impromptu tired competitions with my spouse where we try to top one another with how tired we actually are based on how our days were. Sounds normal and healthy, right?
The other point here is, everyone has their days when they are tired. EVERYONE, but we don't all need to be talking about it, I mean, do we? Really? I can guarantee that all of us at some point recently have heard someone talking about how tired they are and wanted to be like "Oh you think you're tired?!" JUST STOP IT ALREADY. WE HAVE ALL BEEN TIRED, THIS IS NOTHING NEW. And it sure as hell isn't worthy enough to be broadcast on your shirt. Oh you're tired? ME TOO. Let's move on, shall we?
The thing is, being tired is now the norm. And instead of maybe doing something about it, we are accepting it, and even now kind of glorifying it. The more tired you are, the harder you are working, the more parenting you must be doing, and the more stuff you are doing that is making you tired the better. But, the reality is, if you are that tired, and that exhausted that you need to wear an actual t-shirt to poke fun at how exhausted you are, um...maybe you should see a doctor? I'm being 100% serious. Being tired all the time is not only not funny, it's really a sign that something is wrong. And "surviving" on caffeine until it is "late enough" to start drinking wine? We are better than that, aren't we?
As mothers especially, we need to remember that self care isn't just something to read about in magazines (take a bubble bath! Go on a walk!) it's something vital, that we need to be doing, like right now, in order to be better parents and in order to be healthy enough to be better parents. And rather than imagine the self care as something you can do, picture it as something you need not to be doing. Maybe you need to take something off your plate, right now, in order to slow things down and give yourself an opportunity to rest. Chances are if you have time to read this blog right now, you have time to also weed out the extra stuff in your life that is making you tired. Hell, even weed out reading this blog if it will make you less tired. You do what you gotta do (I'm also kind of sure some of you will stop reading after this rant anyway, but so be it.)
Also, can we just stop perpetuating the myth that to be SO TIRED and SO BUSY is the ideal, because it isn't. I used to have a friend who wore her busyness like a badge of honor. She would brag loudly about only getting two hours of sleep because she would stay up working on projects every night. Every conversation revolved around how tired she was and how much Diet Coke was necessary during the day because of how tired she was and how she was too busy to do anything ever. But instead of doing a few jobs well and choosing to pass on the ones that were too much, she did all the jobs poorly and would beat herself up for screwing up.
Now, before you get all fired up to comment the hell out of this post, I get it. Trust me, as a mother of five, I get it. I get lack of sleep and being overtired and exhausted and I GET THE WHOLE THING. But the thing is, not only do we not have to focus on the tired part, we can also keep striving for the healthy balance. We don't need to push and push and push until we are wrecked. Yes working parents I get you too, I work from home and I stay at home with the kids, I know how back breaking it can feel to do all the things. I know. I feel you. And what I am saying is, let's all take a step back, when we can, and not pretend like being tired is the new normal that we should all celebrate. It's not, and it shouldn't be, and I sure as hell don't want to teach my kids that it's okay to feel tired all the time. That's not how you're supposed to live life.
You are important enough to feel well. You are important enough to take the time to feel well. And your children should see that too. Model self care for them, and for yourself. And let's talk about the weather, politics, our favorite color, ANYTHING else except how tired we are, okay? Thanks in advance.